Balls…Sometimes there is something so good about Good-Bye…and it is the easiest thing to say…

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Had a disagreement with a dear friend…

Well she disagreed with me at any rate…

All over a courtesy email regarding a 25 year old tin of seeds…

I thought she overacted…because she did…the whole situation had absolutely nothing to do with her…and yet she went completely off the reservation…

She had been a complete nasty bitch…

And I told her that…

It was a tin of seeds that were so old they were probably no longer viable…

And yet apparently a great injustice had happened, a great affront to parties (who she avoids) had been perpetrated, by someone she had a falling out with (not me…at this point…)

It was grab your torches and pitchforks time…justified by passages in the Bible, which she was quite clear in pointing out. She does that a lot, contorts the Bible as an excuse to be a bitch. She does conveniently forget the areas of the Bible that directly contradicts her actions.

So during this freak-out, I also informed her I could no longer consul her on her traumatic past – a properly certified therapist would be the better option – nor could I continue to give advice on her marriage – because I am not married – and nor could I give advise on her child – because I don’t have any – so I have very  little I can contribute to that.

She came back with – Is that how you really feel? You devalue yourself that much?

This immediately got my backup; I was like who the hell are you?

I did respond in that my lack of experience in these matters does not mean I devalue myself.

She also accused me of kicking a dog when it’s down (meaning her). Only in her own mind was she a victim in this sense.

She then decided to change email addresses and sent a message saying if I wanted the new one then I needed to ask for it…even as her ‘best friend’ I still have to jump through hopes to prove my worthiness…I haven’t asked for it…and I never will…I don’t want it.

This whole thing…

It got me thinking of our friendship…

She’s dangerous…

Manipulative and Conniving…

Dressed up as a hippy dippy silly girl…

It was small things at first…eating my food, but not sharing hers. Not paying for anything outside her needs in the apartment we shared, so I was the one buying toilet paper, dish soap, cleaning supplies, etc. She used it all, but never bought it, Same with any freebies I got from work, one night even eating an entire baguette to herself.  She once consumed the entire contents of a hot chocolate container in a week (I had only one cup); and then would make comments about how wouldn’t it be nice if we had more – didn’t go out to replace it mind you; her with her $20/hr job; nope she expected me to go pay for it on my $8/hr minimum wage job. Bread and Milk, she used…never replaced. Then had the audacity to comment on how she would get mad when she’d go to use something and I had used the last of it. Umm…no…I never used the last of anything you bought, I always made sure there was at least a serving and a half of anything that you rarely contributed to the household…maybe pay attention to what you are using…stupid woman. Then it went to using my computer to work online and stuff because she had deleted all usable programs off her computer because she didn’t think she needed them. Ultimately turning my fairly new computer (a year old) – purchased from the Ombudsmen Office at UBC – into a boat anchor because she downloaded a virus. (oops…tee hee…stupid woman).  Gifting me stuff then asking for it back because she actually wanted it after all. Buying me licorice as a treat and then eating most of it on the bus ride to come see me. Calling me a bitch because I had the nerve to ask her why she turned the stove off, dumped the kettle and then refilled it and put it back on the stove, after I had just filled the kettle and put it on the stove. Dropping anchor at my Gran’s house in MDHT, and treating it like a hotel. Correcting my elderly, Alzheimer suffering Gran when she used the word Lucky. Having the kids that use to live in the foster home she use to work at come and crash at our apartment; even when they had violent people looking for them, or with them.

If I wasn’t on-board with her plans she became quite verbally abusive. When I pointed this out during our falling out she claimed she had no memory of this but if that is what I remember then she is sorry. Selective Memory…nice…

She is the author of her own sad tale…

Since we both moved to Alberta; I have seen her 3 times in the last 6 years, the last time being 4 years ago.

I was suppose to be the Godmother of her child, my gut told me to decline, but I accepted as we were still ‘best friends’, I regretted saying yes immediately…I wanted no obligations to her. Her son is almost 3 and I have yet to even meet him…

I haven’t spoken to her since June…and I don’t miss her…

I still have her on Facebook…but not Pinterest…she un-followed me…when I don’t know…nor do I care.

Since it’s been 3 1/2 months since our last contact, I will be removing her from my social media accounts effective immediately…

Should be strangely cathartic…

 

 

 

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Sometimes where you are planning to be isn’t where you actually end up…and sometimes Church isn’t in a building…

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I had planned to go to Church this morning…

Got up, got dressed and headed out; by the time I got to the little Church outside of town that I attend it was 10:45 and the service had started at 10, so instead of turning right I went straight and headed further out of town.

Just me…Elvis…and Two Lane Black Top.

S. Alberta has wide open blue skies, and out where the prairies meet the foothills its lush and green.

It reminded me why I moved home from VanCity 6 years ago. I love my home, there is nothing like the prairies of S. Alberta.

Roll the windows down and the smell of Lucent fills the air inside your vehicle.

When I am driving like this I tend to stop at random places and take photos random things on the road side…    Portfolio

I find when I am out of sorts this is really my Church…

It’s not four walls and a roof with pew…

It’s two lane black top with the windows rolled down, good tunes on the radio…while I take deep breaths…and reflect on my faith and what means to me as the wide blue sky spans like a canopy over head…

 

50 Years…and the return of the Three Musketeers…

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Yesterday I went to a wedding anniversary…

Laureen and Jim were married June 24th, 1967. They have 3 daughters and 3 grandchildren. They have had their triumphs…and they have had their struggles and yet through it all, they held tight to one another. My mom commented to the peeps at our table that she couldn’t comprehend spending 50 years with the same man. Mind you, my mom has had 4 husbands so take that as you like. Laureen and Jim were obviously well suited to one another as their interactions with one another over the years can attest.

This milestone is well worth celebrating.

Laureen is a long time friend of my mom’s; they met in 1976 when my older sister went into Brownies (Girl Guides), Laureen was ‘Brown Owl’ of my sisters Brownie Pack. I don’t recall Laureen not being a part of our lives, both as kids and now as adults, also at the celebration was another long time friend; Donna;. who mentioned while sitting with my mom and I that it was the first time in a long time that she had laughed. The same could be said about my mom as of late; she doesn’t really laugh anymore. Heavily into being leaders with the Girl Guides organization, the three were always together…always. Camps, Events, Trips, Cookie Selling…and if it wasn’t Guiding it was always something else, didn’t matter. While the three had drifted apart slightly due to changing life circumstances; yesterday found these long time friends reconnect, the Three Musketeers are together again.

 

When You Outgrow People…

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And they outgrow you…

It’s all part of that Reason…Season…Lifetime thing…

People we meet in our lives, some we grow with forever, some we grow with for only a short time…and some are the reasons we grow at all…

You see, as we go through life we’ll meet all kinds of people, and when we start out we think; ‘Yes! we’re going to be friends for life!!!’ Sometimes you’re right…and sometimes it works out differently.

I was friends with a girl starting in Jr. High; met her through the Drum Corps I was in. Nice girl, joined a group I was sitting with as we ate lunch, started talking, and pretty soon after that we were fast friends. After awhile I thought I had a life long friend in her. I was wrong…

Fast forward 15 years…we fell apart…so much so that I was dropped from her wedding party by her fiancé via an eCard from Hallmark, and when I called…she would only respond by email. I was incredibly hurt by this, so I didn’t attend the wedding…and aside from forwarding pictures shortly there after and one message before I moved to Australia I have had no contact with her. While I do hope she is well – she was a dear friend while she was in my life – in the ensuing years I have come to realize that our fallout was inevitable. Things that I made excuses for actually annoyed me, things that I accepted as ‘That’s Who She Is’ turned out to be…’That’s Who She Is With Me…’ because she wasn’t like that with anyone else. In the end it is obvious we had outgrown one another…

It happens in everyone’s life…we outgrow people…and they outgrow us. It’s not because we’ve stopped growing or they’ve stopped growing it’s merely that your respective ‘vines’ are now growing in different directions. This becomes quite evident when there is an atmosphere of feeling used. We’ve all experienced this, you’re merrily going along in life when little by little people who you assumed were your friends start to take advantage of you. They invite you along on outings not because they enjoy your company but because they need a body for numbers – and haven’t we all been here at some point in our lives?

It hurts when it happens…and it’s hard to let go…

But at the end of the day…

We do have to let go…

 

The Narrative…

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Not everyone is going to agree with your narrative…

It is what it is…

Now I know people say that of course not everyone is going to agree with such and such an opinion…

And yet…we still get angry when they don’t…

And even angrier still when we get called out on our narrative…

This can cause the loss of a job…

This can even cause a rift in a relationship…

It’s happened to everyone…

Some people will surround themselves with only those who will agree 100% with the narrative they have…until they no longer do…then it is a quick cut of the cord all the while acting as if they have been wronged.

It’s total bullshit of course.

They haven’t been wronged…they were just disagreed with…get over it.  It’s known as a difference of opinion. Yet, there are those who decide that the best course of action is to repeatedly browbeat those who disagree. Just so you know they don’t actually convince anyone, they just look like a petulant asshole who isn’t getting their way, tantamount to being a bully.

This is nowhere more prevalent then social media; the vitriol that can spew forth from keyboards, their human origin hidden behind One’s and Zero’s, their online image an avatar. Typed words on a screen…they lack tone, intonation, non-verbal cues…personality. In what was intended to be a gentle question, is answered with anger and aggression, a war cry of…”How Dare You Question Me!!!!” followed by line upon line of justification, with the coup de grâce being…”You Aren’t the Person I Thought You Were!!!”

It begs the question…

Just Who Exactly Did You Think They Were?

Because they don’t agree all the time doesn’t make them any less a friend. It may mean they are perhaps quite a good friend…one who isn’t afraid to respectfully and thoughtfully question ideals as opposed to being a sycophant.

Respect and thought is the key qualifiers here…because all too often a difference of opinion leads to a lot of disrespect and thoughtlessness towards the other person.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes you’ve got to do piece work

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And I’m not talking flat rate people.

In this economy with so many people looking for work, sometimes you need to bite the proverbially bullet and take the one day or three day jobs just to keep the money rolling in. For those on EI, you can do this and still get EI assistance, they just calculate the difference. So if out of the two weeks, you work one of those weeks, you still get paid for the week you didn’t. Just don’t lie about it, because they will find out, they always do. 

For those crying about people on EI, and how you’ve never claimed EI and want your money back, well you pay car and house/renters insurance, how often have you made a claim against those? Do you ever ask for your money back from them? Didn’t think so…

It’s hard times for people right now…

And some days you need to take it one ladder rung at a time to get out of that pit. 

Creation is the game…

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We all create…

You heard me correctly…we all create.

Most assume that creation means building something or painting or a creative endeavor of some kind, this isn’t necessarily so.

Creation can be anything…everything.

We can create hope with just a word…

We can create despair with just a word…

We can create safety with one touch…

We can create danger with one action…

We all create…