Self Care

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Since I have made mention regarding Self Care in the last couple of posts; it would probably be good of me to talk a bit about it…cause I know at least two of my ardent readers are scratching their heads going…Self Care?

For me Self Care means doing something that makes me happy.

Could be doing a bit of painting; reading a good book; creative writing; baking a saskatoon berry pie (I am a Betty Crocker); listening to good music; going for a walk; watching a favourite movie…or watching Pro-Wrestling…(yes…I like pro-wrestling…is there a problem?) Even a nice warm bath is a treat (I make my own bath salts amoung other beauty products).

There is loads of things to do…and pretty cheaply too.

Pack a sandwich; some carrots; a bottle of water and a good book. Find a shady spot in a local park (or your own back yard) and indulge in a good story while munching on lunch.

The library is a fabulous source for all kinds of things; books; movies; music…everything you could think of…and then some. Some cities their library memberships are free (Vancouver’s is free). I have found some great stuff while wandering the stacks. They also have e-books you can rent for the same duration as you would a physical book.

A walk in the evening; or early in the morning…or when ever. It does wonders for your mood.

If you have a list of things that you have been meaning to get done that you just never seem to get to; this too can fall under self care; if for nothing more then the sense of accomplishment and the weight off your shoulders at getting it done.

The most important part of self care is focusing on the moment; even getting your laundry done or making your bed first thing when you wake up will do the trick…if you are in the moment.

You don’t need hours and hours out of your day…and you need not spend any money at all…

 

 

 

 

 

…Or The Beginning

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So…ok…you’re now unemployed…

Bugger it all…and all that…

Here’s a new perspective…as scary as it might be…it’s also exciting…

…So exciting

…Uncharted Waters…

Ooooooh…possibilities…the mind boggles…oh how it boggles…if yours isn’t or doesn’t boggle…it’s OK…mine is boggling for you…

See as much as I am looking for a steady paycheque…there is a part of me that is itching to try something new…something scary…something that the 9-5 clan just quakes in fear over. This could be the moment…the opportunity to seize the…opportunity (seriously…bad dialogue…sorry). So I have stuck my proverbially big toe in the water and have found it to be fairly warm…mind you it’s only been a couple of weeks, but it’s enough to keep me going.

I was fortunate enough to ‘grow up’ in one of the largest telephone companies where I am from. As angry as I was when I left; I will forever be grateful for what I learned in that time. Skills that would have taken me years to learn else where. These skills are transferable to anything else I may wish to try my hand at; it also allowed me to become great friends with some of the best people I have ever known.

And leaving…regardless of how it went down…was the best thing to ever happen to me in the end. I got to live in Australia for a year; coming home I followed my dream and was a make-up artist for a time on the West Coast. Today I am looking to expand on that and go into creature creation and animatronics. On the side I am doing a bit of writing; someday I may get paid to do that as well. Who wouldn’t love that right?

Sometimes the Big Stage has the chains and it’s the small stage where freedom is found…living life on your own terms…so that when it’s your time again…the Big Stage won’t be able to hold you.

Amen to that…

 

 

 

 

The End…

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YOU’RE FIRED.

Regardless of the circumstances it was under; or even if it was justified. There is only one word that comes to mind at a time like this…

FUCK…

(For those who don’t like the F-Bomb…substitute your preferred 4 Letter friend getter in lieu of the F-Bomb; my personal favourite is Well…Shit…).

I have been here my friends…and regardless of how often it happens; it’s never really a picnic.

Some people feel embarrassed about being fired; others are angry (I fell into this category); while others still are sad. All are valid feelings. So is the sense of fear; the fear of what now…what next…what do I do?

You are not alone.

I went to work for a large Telephone Company when I was 21. After about a year of working in a couple of different departments; I found my niche in the dispatch area; and it became my career; and I was very good at it. Fast Forward 10+ years and I had moved into the Call-Out Desk in the Dispatch area working Graveyards – and where I ran a foul of a manager who I should never have been working for (we had a long personal history that was tenuous at best; acrimonious at worst) and after just over a decade of busting my ass at the age of 32 I was shown the door. (Epilogue –  the guy who fired me was also shown the door just under a year later…)

Needless to say I was furious!

But I also had some good people in my corner who kept my spirits up! And that is the basis of what I will talk about. Keeping your sanity…when your world has been turned upside down…and all around by the people who you spend more time with then you do your wife or your children (some people anyway).

I was told by a good friend of mine to spend two weeks chilling out…and then get back on the horse as it were.He also said ‘Ya, Ya…easy for me to say…’ and it is easy to say…when you have a job. Not so easy to say when you don’t. Getting back on the horse isn’t so easy to do these days. Even with people saying it’s a healthy job market out there; it all depends on where you are and what your skill sets are…and in the case of some of the smaller communities; WHO you know is as important if not more important than WHAT you know; the rare exception being Health Care. And not everyone can move to greener pastures for work either.

So what do you do when you are faced with a job loss, and you are not snatched up by a company immediately?

1) Don’t Panic

2) Don’t Panic

3) Breathe Deep…and release…

4) Don’t Panic

If you have employer benefits; find out how long they are good for…and book all needed appointments in the span of that time if possible. Seriously…I no longer have dental…and you’d cry if you knew how much it cost to have my teeth fixed.

You no longer have an income coming in…so you are going to need to trim the fat as it were. So that means the kids will just have to play the video games they have…and you will have to consider saying good-bye to the sports channels and online movie streaming. Or keep the online streaming and drop your Cable TV (either way…you’ll lose the sports channels).  Depending on how long you are unemployed you may also have to sell your stuff. Trust me..I pawned most of my gold jewellery to buy food…pay rent…get supplies. So the above mentioned video games and consul might have to go up on Kijiji if it means paying for your car insurance.

Learn how to cook…because unless someone else is footing the bill; your days of eating out are over. Dollar stores have groceries now; so you can get away with your pasta and canned stuff coming from there; as well as cleaning supplies. Be prepared to be eating the same things over and over again. My best friend and I lived on rice and lentils with a side of rice and lentils for 2.5 months; sometimes we had an egg as well;  when the rice and lentils ran out…we went to the food bank; was a little better than the rice and lentils…but not by much. It did however keep us going; so while we worried about possibly being homeless, at least we weren’t hungry.

If you are in walking distance to anything…and by walking distance I mean within a 5 km radius…and you are able to walk…then walk to your destination and save yourself the gas…and the bus fare. It’s tough at first but you do get use to it. I have walked between 8 and 15 km on any given day depending on where I needed to go. This will also prevent you from going out and needlessly buying something. You’d be surprised how much you will do without if it means hiking 10 km round trip to get it.

Don’t use your credit cards unless you absolutely have too. Credit Card companies don’t give a rat’s ass if you’ve lost your job; you’ll still be required to pay; and it’s so easy to rack those puppies up.

Looking for a new job is daunting especially if you find that you get no responses from your resumes. I know all about the no responses; I’m still getting no responses. It’s depressing, upsetting…and stressful. You find yourself wondering what is wrong with you…why doesn’t anyone want to hire you. Good question…I ask myself that everyday. I wish I could tell you why that is; but I don’t have the answer; I have been given theories left, right & centre. I have tried all the methods people have told me to do…and still I get…nil…nothing…nada…zip…zero…ziltch. The important thing here is to KEEP LOOKING.

Resume workshops – if it’s been eons since you have done up a resume…hit these resume workshops; they are helpful in at least helping you dust off the resume; however be aware that they won’t guarantee you a job.

Temp Agencies – these are an option to keep money rolling in; but you will not get permanent work through these people. I don’t care if your mother’s brother’s sister’s cousin’s ex-wife got one…she’s the exception…not the rule. If an employer wants to hire you; they will have to pay a fee to the temp agency before you even sit at a desk. Not only that they treat you like an independent contractor (usually without telling you) so it really goofs you up at tax time. Most importantly; if they don’t book you out to a job…you don’t get paid…period.

Remember that while you look for work…keep yourself busy. It’s very easy to fall into a depression should your life revolve around just looking for work. Like in my last post…self-care during this time is essential. Take time to do (inexpensive) things to keep your joy up.

Something to always remember at this time…DON’T BREAK THE LAW! And I am even talking about speeding tickets and shit…nothing will burn through what’s left of any money you have like a fine.

There are loads of people who are great mentors out there. Get connected with them; listen to what they have to say. Keep people in the loop about what is going on with you mentally; emotionally and physically.

As tough as it is…you can and will get through it…even if it takes longer than you’d like (Hello…? Right Here…it’s taking longer than I would like…lol)

 

 

Tired…

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I know what it means to be tired…but not everyone does…

I am not talking about being physically tired…everyone knows about that…

I am talking emotional tiredness when the people you love or events in your life take you on that roller coaster…the one that has so many ups and downs you feel sick and your head spins and you want to get off of it but you can’t.

I am talking mental tiredness; where you are so busy keeping track of everything; and having to come up with solutions to problems you didn’t even know you had.

I am talking spiritual tiredness…you keep trying to fight the good fight…but you wonder how much longer you can go on; and just how much more you can take.

That’s the tiredness I am talking about. Manalive…I know that kind of TIRED.

Those days where it takes everything you have just to drag your ass out of bed; and you stand before the mirror and say…Mission accomplished…everything else is gravy…!!! Yep…those kind of days…

Then there are those other tired days where the only thing you accomplish is not shitting the bed.

I have had both…some more often then others…but I have had them.

The days where I silently ask God…so what exactly is your agenda here…?

I’ll let you in on a little secret…

It’s ok to be that tired…

…Trust Me.

I found that often times my tiredness comes from the fact I had fallen down in the self-care area. Self-care is so important; especially when you are in troubled times. There have been occasions in my life where I have taken something more to heart than I should have; or was intended and then I stew about it…Oh Lord can I stew about something…like a bulldog with an old bone I am; I just chew and chew on it; roll it over in my mind until its good and ragged…and I am good and charged, like a cherry bomb with a lit short fuse! Talk about making myself T-I-R-E-D!

But a lot of tiredness can come from just having one thing on top of another come at you; and you just don’t have time to even stop and breathe let alone do a spot of self-care. Boy Howdy I have been there too; just Bam! Bam! A One- Two punch and KO’d for the 1…2…3…

And we humans…we do work ourselves into a tizzy when we get hit with bad thing after bad thing after bad thing. WooHaw…you should see me if I don’t take the heat out of a situation; it’s full tilt boogie with both barrels firing. I am sure people get scared when I blow through at full swing.

Talk about making myself T-I-R-E-D!

And in my case…it’s usually all for naught and I am left laughing my ass off at my own hubris…mostly.

Then there is that Tiredness that you have…even when you do self-care; and take the heat out. That tiredness that is soul deep where you just feel like giving up…I have been here as well. However if you can pull your ass out of bed to at least use the bathroom; you will be alright. (If you are shitting in your bed…then pick up that phone and get help…seriously…we need you here…we can’t get by without you.)

Life in this world is an uphill battle; especially if you seem to always be behind the 8 ball. I can’t tell you it’ll get better; because I tell you true…I still have my days where it takes all I have to get my ass out of bed and in front of that mirror.

What keeps me going…is faith…that tomorrow will be a little easier than today…