Living In The Now…

Got to live in the now…

Absolutely plan for the future…but live in the now.

Living in the now means; embracing your life as it is now instead of reacting to it. Embrace yourself for who you are; not for who you were 10 or 15 years ago; or who you think you’ll be 10 or 15 years from now.

For me it’s embracing the facts:

I am 42 years old this year; my life isn’t where I thought it would be.

It’s also about embracing the fact that it’s okay that this is so.

Life is funny in that it never really turns out the way we want, but it does turn out the way we hoped it would but would never admit it.

So I task you…my ardent readers…with this…

Live In The Now…

Embrace Who You Are…

Sometimes where you are planning to be isn’t where you actually end up…and sometimes Church isn’t in a building…

I had planned to go to Church this morning…

Got up, got dressed and headed out; by the time I got to the little Church outside of town that I attend it was 10:45 and the service had started at 10, so instead of turning right I went straight and headed further out of town.

Just me…Elvis…and Two Lane Black Top.

S. Alberta has wide open blue skies, and out where the prairies meet the foothills its lush and green.

It reminded me why I moved home from VanCity 6 years ago. I love my home, there is nothing like the prairies of S. Alberta.

Roll the windows down and the smell of Lucent fills the air inside your vehicle.

When I am driving like this I tend to stop at random places and take photos random things on the road side…    Portfolio

I find when I am out of sorts this is really my Church…

It’s not four walls and a roof with pew…

It’s two lane black top with the windows rolled down, good tunes on the radio…while I take deep breaths…and reflect on my faith and what means to me as the wide blue sky spans like a canopy over head…

 

Creation is the game…

We all create…

You heard me correctly…we all create.

Most assume that creation means building something or painting or a creative endeavor of some kind, this isn’t necessarily so.

Creation can be anything…everything.

We can create hope with just a word…

We can create despair with just a word…

We can create safety with one touch…

We can create danger with one action…

We all create…

 

 

 

 

The Art of Reconnecting and an Epiphany

It started with a dream…

One of my nearest and dearest that I left behind when I left Vancouver showed up in a dream I had. Strange really since we hadn’t communicated in ages, but there he was, just as I remembered him to be. Stranger still because I rarely have dreams that I recall – and sometimes I wonder if I actually dream at all – but this one I did, and couldn’t shake the gut feeling that I should maybe reach out to him to see if he was doing alright and was happy . So as is often the case…I dithered about three days on whether I should act upon the gut feeling (Yes, Gorgeous Boy it took me three days to screw up the nerve to drop you a line…hard to believe since for nearly a year I saw you 5 days a week so you’d think it wouldn’t be an issue…but it was). I did get a response in the affirmative that everything was well and that he hoped I was too. An open ended item so of course I responded with an earlier epiphany that I had had while sitting in the ICU with my dad back in 2015.

That night as I lay awake in my bed wondering why I even remembered the dream in as much detail as I did, and the prompting I felt to actually touch base, another epiphany came home like a thunderbolt. I hadn’t actually thought about it until the wee hours of the morning, but when I left Vancouver, I pretty much dropped off the face of the map for those I had left behind, and I did leave them behind in a way. When you move, you leave people behind, these days with the myriad of ways to stay in touch with ones friends and family it feels less so, yet I didn’t communicate as much as I had done in the past with my peeps in AB when I was in Australia and my peeps in Australia when I was living everywhere else. Although as of late since I have moved home to AB in 2011, aside from a small number of people, I pretty much dropped off the face of the map for everyone.  It pains me to realize it is so, even as my all of my nearest and dearest are never far from my thoughts I have neglected the relationships…and I mean really neglected the relationships. While some argue they don’t want to be the only one making the effort, it could be in any case that the other person is giving as much as they could in the particular time, it could even been said of me these last several years (and it has been several). I have had mentors that I would talk to regularly that I have since drifted away from and not even realize it. Even my boys who I talk wrestling with I have disengaged with in a small amount.

It’s at this moment when I realize that I miss you all.

So it comes down to this…

The Art of Reconnecting

I mean really reconnecting, even if it’s at a base level

Because at the end of the day…the connections we have with one another is the most important thing of all.

Loss of Confidence…

And trying to find it again…

You can lose your confidence in all sorts of ways.

An Event…

A Person…(or people)…

An event can undermine your confidence in how you do and/or handle things.

A person (or people)…can undermine your confidence in EVERYTHING.

It’s easy to lose your confidence…

Getting it back…that’s harder.

You second guess yourself, you shy away from putting yourself out there, your mind only playing the negative soundtrack that has been built inside your head. You fear reaching out to people in a bid for help because you may think…’Why would they help me?’ Not wanting to bother people who have offered to help on their own time because you don’t want to seem a nuisance (for those of you who have offered to help someone, remember to make good on your offer, if you got sidetracked, that’s on you…not on them. And don’t use the excuse – I’m busy…everyone’s busy, if you are that busy tell the person that you are sorry you are unable to actually help them at this time, but don’t leave them hanging…)

Its hard to get the traction back…

I know…I am currently trying to get my traction back…

I have been hanging on to a dream for the better part of 12 years. That’s a long time to hang on to a dream and not have given up on it. I have had people who have said, its’ not realistic’, ‘You’re wasting your time’, ‘You’re more suited to office work,’ and the list goes on.

** I spent 10 years working in a cubicle in an office, a small cog. I was damn good at my job, and still I was fired. Why? Because of people who felt that a COG should know her place. **

(The better part of a decade since then, I still don’t know my place.)

So now I am at a cross roads…

Do I let the people who are critical keep their foot hold?

Or do I reach out a hand for help and get back on track?

The answer is fairly obvious isn’t it?

In the words of Elvis Presley….

Follow That Dream…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chris Young…and getting the MoJo Back…I Hope…

Little bit ago I was doing a pre-delivery inspection on a pick-up truck; setting up the radio pre-sets when a song came on. Baritone vocal; reminiscent of Randy Travis but wasn’t. The song was “I’m Comin’ Over’ by Chris Young. It actually got me to stop what I was doing and listen.

I know what you’re thinking…So What?

I work flat rate; so the faster I work, the more work I get done and the more I get paid (this system works when there is lots of work and blows moose balls when there isn’t).

So for a song to make me actually stop dead and listen means it’s a pretty damn good song.

I digress…

I had to scan my memory bank if I had heard of him…

Riiiiight…2013…right after the floods here; he’d opened for Brad Paisley (I came back to my hometown to see them).

I think I had ‘Aw Naw’ somewhere on my mp3 player after hearing it on the radio while I was living three steps from Hell’s Ass…err…while I was living somewhere in S. AB.

A day later; another truck…same song comes on…made me stop again…

So I decided to download it…what the hell right?

I dithered about downloading the whole album (I’m Comin’ Over – iTunes); but ultimately downloaded the whole thing…crossing my fingers it wasn’t one more album with one great track…and only one great track (I own too damn many albums with that one great track and the rest leaving me flat…).

Played it from the first track to the last track…and there wasn’t one bad track…not one.

Not one bad song in 11 tracks; even the duet – with someone I had never heard of – was good.

It got me curious as I couldn’t say that about any of the other artists I listen too…including the late great Keith Whitley.

So I went to the back catalogue, starting with the album before this one…A.M.

Ahh…right…that’s where ‘Aw Naw’ came from…that is a party song…with somewhat crunchy guitar riffs. I love crunchy guitar riffs.

Someone called it a Bro-Country song…I don’t see it, but to each their own?

Decided to take a chance and download the whole album…I knew I had a 50/50 chance of good tracks and shit tracks…

11 tracks on this Album…and not one bad track… (And I’m asking myself why I didn’t buy the damn thing when it was first released…? Oh right…unemployed…).

Alright…so…I went back one more…which brings us to Neon…

We’re batting two for two…so downloaded the whole shooting match…

‘Tomorrow’ is found on here…I remember this one from the radio…and listening to it again I also remember it making me cry….it’s why I didn’t download it in the past…

Listened from First Track to Last…not one bad track…Three for three…

Back one more…and it’s an EP…WTF?

Didn’t think EP’s were a thing anymore…shows you what I know about that…

Price was right…so why not?

Annnnnnd they’re covers…well two are for sure…the third was a new one to me. While the songs were indeed covers he did do justice to them.

Ok – so back one more…The Man I Want To Be…

Which has ‘Gettin’ You Home’

I remembered this one…I remembered the video…the cute guy in the hat that sang to a bathroom door with his whole heart…you know the girl on the other side…probably wasn’t actually on the other side of that door…sound stages are funny that way…

10 tracks…and we’re batting four for four…not a bad track to be had…

Now I say not a bad track…doesn’t mean they were all great ones on this one. I would say that some of the tracks are highly indicative of his age when he did this album. Twenty-One Candles is a prime example of that…catchy beat but I sure as hell hope he doesn’t sing it now…or ever… because at this point it would be creepy as fuck.

Since I had these ones I decided why not…and downloaded his debut album…in for a penny right?

Self-Titled Debut…Chris Young…

11 tracks…not one over 4 minutes so it’s a fast listen…I put it on as I was clearing a Stock Unit (those take me somewhere between 30 to 50 minutes start to finish).

Not a bad album…listenable…but it’s clearly an out of the starting gate album.

He sings with conviction, that and his voice elevates the material. They’re still cringe-worthy but they don’t suck shit. I will say the song Drinkin’ Me Lonely is worth a listen just for the falsetto…hard to do on a baritone voice…and I suspect its one of the first songs he had written.  I also downloaded this one purely to support my thoughts. See I have been dithering about this piece for the last week; and if I was going to say with any conviction of my own that he doesn’t have a bad song I wanted to make damn sure I wasn’t talking out of my ass. Nothing like taking a stance of knowing what you are talking about and then finding out later it is not the case. I’ll eat my gaffs as required but I don’t enjoy it.

The most important thing to look at is that you can see the progression of Mr. Young as not only a singer but as a songwriter as well. While the early album may not be a stellar entry; I have no doubt it has provided a brilliant learning experience; for we not only learn from our successes we also learn from our near misses (I don’t like the word Failure…it is not a word I like to keep in my vocabulary…)

I deliberately didn’t go into track detail…I want you to discover how good this guy really is and the only way to do that is to listen for yourself. The great thing about a great singer…and the right song can make different people feel different things; it recognizes no boundaries.

I should warn you…

This guy sings Conway Twitty level love songs here…and there are a SHIT TON of them…

** Yes I know he was on a reality tv show…big fucking deal…so was Sawyer Brown…it was called Star Search…you remember Ed McMahon…he was good enough to win…and 10 years later he’s still here…that should say all there is to say about that…should you still use that as a reason not to give his music a listen…all I can say is Your Loss because this cat is good.

** Chris Young also gets this one credit no one else will ever have. He and his music got me off my ass and back to writing. It’s a small thing…and he’ll no doubt never know…but it’s there.

 

Losing the MoJo…and Coming Back…

10 days short of a year since I moved back to my hometown. I have been quiet on here and pretty much everywhere since I had returned. In the back of mind I always told myself I need to sit down and write something…and attempted to…but it wasn’t enjoyable as it once was, it was a struggle…a chore…and nothing was really coming out. I’d type something but then I would read it and not like what I had written. I couldn’t seem to get my mojo going…so I quit…full stop…I’d lost my voice and lost my way…the mojo was gone.

This past week however, I have been getting a push in my soul that I need to get back to this; to make the time for this. I have made a nifty little space for myself in a spot in my house that is on its way to being a cozy space to work in with lots of light and inspiration.

So Here Goes…